Critical Role: To Deserve or Not Deserve
by Princess-Amon-Rae
Summary: "You don't deserve her," Vax says. "You're right. I certainly don't," Percy says and it's probably another thing that shouldn't be so easy to say, but it is and it's true. Vax shoots him a look. "Loving Vex'ahlia is arguably the most selfish thing I have ever done." Perchalia One shot.


Percy isn't really sure how he ended up in this situation, sharing a watch with Vax. It's not because he doesn't want to be around Vax, it's just that Vox Machina doesn't usually share watches. There's also the fact that Vax has been a bit weird since Vex made their relationship a publicly known thing when she'd kissed him after breakfast a few days ago.

"Do you love her?" Vax finally asks after several minutes of quiet. Percy sighs and removes his glasses to wipe them.

"Yes, I do." It probably shouldn't be so simple to say, so easy. Little in their lives is and this seems like it should complicate things, instead of what it currently does, the other way around.

"You don't deserve her," Vax says.

"You're right. I certainly don't," Percy says and it's probably another thing that shouldn't be so easy to say, but it is and it's true. Vax shoots him a look. "Loving Vex'ahlia is arguably the most selfish thing I have ever done."

"Then why be with her?" It's not a threat or said with any kind of anger, they both know that Vex will do whatever she wants, feel whatever she wants.

"Because she loves me. And breaking her heart is something I absolutely cannot live with. So, I will be selfless in my most selfish action. For as long as she'll have me."

"And if she wants forever?" Vax asks lightly. They both know they're thinking of Syldor, in and out of their lives at his own will until they had run for it.

"Then I will be the luckiest most selfish man who walks this world." Vax groans loudly and Percy raises an eyebrow up at him in question.

"Typical of my sister to find the sappiest man ever," Vax says with a teasing glitter in his eyes that perfectly matches Vex.

"Why Vax are you jealous?" Percy asks lightly as he imperiously arches his eyebrow to add to the teasing.

"Obviously," Vax shoots back deadpan and they both fall into an unfortunate bout of the giggles.

XXXXX

"How you convinced Vax to not kill you is beyond me darling," Vex says a few days later when he takes a break with his tinkering to stretch his fingers. She's been combing Trinket and has paused to absently stroke his nose. He'd casually mentioned that he and Vax had talked.

"I imagine it's because I was so truthful and agreeable," Percy says and Vex gives him a look that is almost a perfect replica of Vax's look.

"Oh? Do tell," Vex requests and really Percy can't deny her anything.

"Well first he asked if I love you, and obviously I said yes." He pauses so that he can fully take in Vex's subconscious smile, the one that brightens her face every time he says it. "Then we agreed on the fact that I don't deserve you."

"Percival," Vex says warningly and he moves to gather her hands up in his.

"Now Vex'ahlia you and I both know that you do deserve someone who is just a little less broken than I. Or someone who hasn't danced so close to the darkness as I. As I told your brother loving you is the most selfish thing I will ever do." He lifts her hands so that he can press a kiss to them and rest his cheek against them. "But I am also selfless enough to be completely unable to live if I break your heart."

"I should think so darling," Vex says softly, but with so much love shining in her eyes before it switches to a teasing glimmer. "If you were this sincere with Vax, I can see how you managed to convince him."

"Promising to stay with you for as long as you'll put up with me helped I think," Percy says and leans in to kiss her because he loves her, because he can and because he wants her to be able to taste the sincerity in his words.

Judging by her response he thinks she gets the message loud and clear.

XXXXX

Percy forgets about the two conversations as Vox Machina gets further embroiled in this complicated quest that they are involved in. Forgets in the face of Vex'ahlia _dying_ (by all the Gods he would do anything to never feel that _agony_ again), forgets in the face of his own death (by all the Gods he would do anything to never see the agony in her eyes when he wakes), forgets in the face of Vax's death and if he thought it would help for one moment, if the gods weren't already involved, Percy would do anything to make that pain better for her.

He forgets until a few moments after Vex; beautiful, amazing, wonderful, awe inspiring Vex, places their daughter Vesper in his arms for the first time. He is busy trying not to drown Vesper in his delighted tears when she speaks.

"You deserve this. After everything we have been through, everything we have done, everything we have lost. You deserve this. We have earned this," she says and there is steel in her voice, in her spine and there is a familiarity in her expression to the one she had worn when she told Delilah Briarwood exactly what she thought of her. Percy rests his forehead on Vex'ahlia's leaving Vesper cradled between them.

"Vex'ahlia if all the sacrifices you have made, have made me worth it, then who am I to discount you?" Percy says. She glowers at him slightly.

"Will you ever listen to me?" She gripes and he chuckles slightly.

"Perhaps not, my love, but you can rest assured that I am completely and utterly deliriously happy. With you and with Vesper."

"I suppose I will have to settle for that," Vex says as she skins her finger down Vespers cheek. The unspoken _for now_ makes Percy smile as he ducks to kiss her.

XXXXX

Percy forgets about the conversation again right up until the wedding when Scanlan offers up his gift of messing with the Gods so that Vex can have her brother back for a few moments. Vax clasps his forearm in that warrior brother way of his and looks him dead in the eye.

"You deserve this Percy," he says, and it makes Percy wonder if somehow, he knew. Knew that Percy had very nearly thrown himself back in the water after Vex'ahlia when she stopped moving, desperate to try and save her, probably would have strongly considered it if the unspeakable had happened and Pike hadn't been there, and Vesper wasn't a factor. If Vax knew that he would have traded his life for hers in a heartbeat and knew that his sister would be safe and loved for the rest of her life.

"Go talk to her idiot," Percy says and gestures to his wife, because he has just received all the closure he could ever need. Vax is alright, and more importantly Vax is right.

Percival de Rolo deserves this happy ending.

XXXXX

**Can't give a shit about the canon timeline if you don't know the canon timeline lol.**

**I really hope that this isn't out of character, I'm only sixteen episodes deep on Campaign One, but the Wedding gave me emotions and more importantly an ending to this fic that has been haunting for a month. (Yes I watched the wedding before I finished Campaign One. I couldn't wait lol.)**

**Thank you for the read and the support!**


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